always

i swam until the acid left my lungs 
up and down 
in and out 
seeding the waves with reflux 
seeding the tunneling foam with grief 

i’m the girl diving for diamonds 
i’m the boy tugging avalon’s sword 
i’m my niece’s favorite ray of light 
i’m my mother’s green screen 

i grew my chest with the autumn showers 
i can still smell the love of my lives on the velvet couch 
you can still marry me with sand castles at our feet 
i still believe we can calm Poseidon with our devotion 

i swim to get my heart rate where you held it 
i swim with my love for you on my back 
i swim to feel the sea kiss my cheek to keep going 
i swim until i see the sky peach like your fingertips